If only there were a way to make all the rude people go and live on an island together so we didn’t have to deal with them!
要是能有辦法把所有粗魯?shù)娜硕稼s到一個(gè)島上該有多好,這樣我們就再也不用跟這種人煩了!
But wait a sec. There are smarter ways to deal with rude people! Here are my top 10.
不過也別擔(dān)心,對(duì)付粗魯?shù)娜瞬环γ钫,?qǐng)看下面這10個(gè)方法吧。
1. Remember, sometimes the rude person is you。
1. 別忘了你自己可能也有粗魯?shù)臅r(shí)候。
Maybe not today, but there’ve been times when you were rude. And you’re not a bad person. So next time somebody’s rude to you, remember that they’re human just like you, and rudeness alone doesn’t mean they’re a bad person either。
不一定是今天,但你肯定有過失禮的時(shí)候。不過這并不表示你品行惡劣。所以,下次要是有人冒犯你,別忘了他們跟你一樣也是普通人,不要單憑粗魯就認(rèn)定他們是壞人。
2. Don’t take it personally (even if it’s personal)。
2. 即便真是針對(duì)你個(gè)人的,也不要太往心里去。
When someone’s rude—especially if they’re making personal comments about you—it’s easy to get upset. But you have a choice about how you react. Take the power out of their rudeness by choosing to treat it as their problem, not your problem。
要是有人不講理,甚至指名道姓針對(duì)你,那你肯定會(huì)感到非常難受。但是,你仍然可以選擇如何去面對(duì):你就想不講理是他們自己的問題好了,跟你無關(guān)。
3. Find out why。
3. 找出原因。
People have their own reasons for being rude. Perhaps they’ve had a bad day, or they’re in a hurry and think there isn’t time for manners. Perhaps they don’t even realize how rude they’ve been. You won’t know until you ask! Stay calm and simply say, “I think that’s pretty rude. Why are you treating me like this?” The answer may surprise you。
人們粗魯總歸會(huì)有原因,或許他們這一天很不順,或者比較匆忙,覺得沒必要講求客套禮節(jié),又或者他們根本就沒意識(shí)到自己失禮了。你只有問了才會(huì)知道是什么情況啊!所以,先冷靜地問一下:“我覺得你這樣很不講理,為什么要這樣?”說不定你會(huì)知道很意外的理由。
4. Be objective and analyze the rudeness。
4. 保持客觀,了解對(duì)方為何粗魯。
So somebody was rude to you. What did they do or say? Was there any sense in it? If you view the situation objectively, you’ll realize that most rudeness is senseless, so you can cheerfully ignore it. On the rare occasions when there’s logic behind the rude behavior, staying objective lets you address the root of the problem instead of the rudeness concealing it。
好吧,有人對(duì)你很粗魯。那么他們說了或做了什么?他們的說法或做法有道理嗎?如果客觀判斷整個(gè)情況,你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)大部分不講理都是毫無意義的,所以干脆無視掉吧。在極少數(shù)情況下,粗魯言行背后也存在客觀理由;那么這時(shí)保持客觀則能讓你從根本上解決問題,而不會(huì)被表面的不講理所迷惑。
5. Don’t join the drama club。
5. 不要陷進(jìn)鬧劇。
Do you feel like yelling at the rude people around you? Don’t. Joining in the drama will only escalate the situation. Whether you’re dealing with a drama queen who’s doing it on purpose, or an inconsiderate oaf whose rudeness is unintentional, keep your dignity intact by not letting rude behavior provoke you into a tantrum of your own。
你有沒有覺得特想朝不講理的人吼過去?千萬別這么做。跟著起哄只會(huì)讓情況更嚴(yán)重。不管對(duì)方是故意無理取鬧的刁蠻女,還是無意莽撞的馬大哈,都請(qǐng)維持好你的尊嚴(yán),不要受粗俗言行干擾而勃然動(dòng)怒。
6. Let it drop and walk away。
6. 直接無視地走開。
Rudeness is hurtful, but removing yourself from the situation is the fastest and surest way to avoid more rude behavior from the same person. Walk away, even if they’re still talking to you! If they’re a stranger, you’ll never have to deal with them again. If they’re a friend or colleague, they’ll soon learn that being rude to you gets them exactly nowhere (and maybe that will prompt them to be nicer next time)。
不講理很傷人,不過主動(dòng)擺脫那個(gè)環(huán)境絕對(duì)是避免受到同一個(gè)人無禮對(duì)待的最快最好方法。直接走開吧,管他是不是還在背后說你呢!如果對(duì)方是陌生人,那你反正以后再也不會(huì)跟他們打交道;如果是朋友或同事,他們肯定會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)這么做沒啥好處,而且或許以后他們會(huì)變得對(duì)你更好呢。
7. Consider offering help。
7. 想想能否提供幫助。
Some rudeness is a simple case of bad manners. But often, a person who’s rude to you does so because they feel frustrated about something—and if it’s within your power to resolve their frustration, you may see them switch from rudeness to gratitude in seconds. A word of warning, though: only offer help if you can provide it immediately, as an offer of help “later on” can add to their feelings of frustration。
有些人沒禮貌純粹只是習(xí)慣不好。但一般情況下,對(duì)方對(duì)你不禮貌或許只是因?yàn)橛龅搅瞬豁樞牡氖聝。如果你有能力幫忙解決的話,或許他們一下子就能從粗魯無禮變成感激涕零了。當(dāng)然還得提醒一句:只能提供那種可以立刻兌現(xiàn)的幫助,不然,“以后幫忙”會(huì)讓對(duì)方更加心煩氣躁。
8. Understand rudeness as a habit。
8. 明白粗魯也是一種習(xí)慣。
Some people are rude simply because they’re always rude. Once rudeness becomes a habit, it can be difficult to shake off even if they truly want to behave better. Habitual rudeness should never be taken personally; it’s just a pattern that’s hard to break. Which brings us to the next point—
有些人沒禮貌,是因?yàn)樗麄円回灳瓦@樣。一旦養(yǎng)成了沒禮貌的壞習(xí)慣,就算真心想改也很難改掉了。永遠(yuǎn)不要把對(duì)方習(xí)慣性的粗魯太當(dāng)回事兒,他們只是本性難移罷了。這也涉及到了下面這一點(diǎn)——
9. Don’t try to force a change。
9. 不要嘗試去改變。
You can’t make someone be polite if they want to be rude. In fact, trying to force a change in their behavior will often make them behave worse instead of better. Sometimes your best option is to accept that their rudeness is not your fault and let them find their own solutions。
如果對(duì)方想要粗魯,你再怎么努力也無法讓他們變得講理。事實(shí)上,嘗試糾正對(duì)方行為的話,最終只會(huì)讓他們表現(xiàn)得更惡劣。有時(shí)你最好的選擇就是接受對(duì)方的無禮不是你的問題,讓他們好自為之唄。
10. Fight rudeness with kindness。
10. 用寬容戰(zhàn)勝粗魯。
Don’t let rudeness make you respond with more of the same. The best way to defuse rude behavior is to stay friendly and helpful, giving the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behavior to match yours。
不要以粗魯還粗魯。搞定粗魯言行的最好辦法就是保持友好幫助的姿態(tài),讓對(duì)方有機(jī)會(huì)冷靜下來好好反省自己的言行。